For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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