So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
