I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
