rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
