a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
