i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I am one with the molecules
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
