I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
