shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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