This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
