Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
