if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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