i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
