Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
they need to just BURY HIM!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Randomize
