cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
