whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
