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I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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