john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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