Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
