We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
