is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize