Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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