miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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