You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
