I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
