Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
