i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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