i just wanna soil my oats bro
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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