We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
