brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have fence marks all over my body
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
