Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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