she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
