would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize