Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
