I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize