So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
