I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
