are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
