Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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