I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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