i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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