Will you blow on my dice?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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