I didn't shave. On purpose
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
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