I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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