remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
