i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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