Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
