I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
