Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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