Only a mothe r could love this liver
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
