She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
