Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
