all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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