If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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