just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
