i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
