We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
