Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Randomize
