she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
