it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
