Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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