Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
